Maximilian Eubank


I get it, no smoking where food can be served, no smoking around employees, and no smoking around non-smokers. Nothing too complicated. Nothing too outrageous. It starts to get outrageous when the smoker gets treated as if they aren't contributing to the restaurant or bar's nightly bottom line. After all the smokers will again venture in and order more food or drink. I especially appreciate this rule as a musician. Sometimes in a crowded bar the smoke can mess me up. Get in my eyes, cause me to go hoarse, etc. I am a smoker too though (quite a dichotomy), and I'm happy to go outside. However, I don't appreciate this rule is when bouncers, door guys, or employees say that I have to smoke further away from the building or off the premises completely. What? As if the smoke is seeping in and everyone inside is getting upset. I don't like to get too far away from my beer in the first place, so standing in the parking lot makes me feel like its getting warm or the bar tender has thrown it away. Here is an interesting story about my experiences with the smoking ban. One night it started to torrentially down pour and my group had to flee the Iowa Cubs Game to the Bait Shop. It was a birthday party for my brother so everyone was in good spirits and we were buying a lot of alcohol (we were being good customers). The bar started to get packed and it was getting claustrophobic, and as much as I like rubbing on wet people it becomes unbearable quickly. Obviously the smokers in the bar started wondering, 'Where shall we smoke? We cant do it in here, and its raining buckets outside.' A few brave smokers went out and eventually became completely soaked, having to throw out their half ruined smoke. A few went rogue along the wall on the outside safe from the rain where no employees could see them (not a sanctioned smoking area) and did just fine. My buddies and I went on the patio to use the umbrellas (which I assume were there to keep people from getting sun or from getting wet). By this time the patio was completely empty, being heavily rained upon, flooded about an inch, and I didn't see anyone ordering food out there. After about half our cigarette we heard a voice, "YOU CANT SMOKE ON THE PATIO!" It was the bouncer (if you wanna call him that) complete with members only jumpsuit and walkie talkie - lol what a dork. We looked up and said something like, "its raining and no one is out here, please just let us finish this." "PUT IT OUT OUR YOU'RE OUTTA HERE." I'm surprised he didn't use his AWESOME walkie talkie and call for back up on a CODE: RED. We were drunk and didn't think he would pull such a dick move so we didn't stop. He came back out and told us we couldn't come back in, so we, without complaint, finished our cigarettes and left. Each of us had a tab inside, and each of us was a paying customer. None of us were being unruly or offending any other customers. So I take solace in knowing that the door guys wiener is uncommonly small making his thirst for power, over the newly powerless smoker, unimaginably huge.